You Are Not Alone: How to Cope With Negative Emotions as an Alzheimer's Caregiver

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It's 2013 and the world knows much more about Alzheimer's than it once did. But many of us still walk into Alzheimer's caregiving at least partially in the dark. We know the textbook version of what to expect, but the emotions that bloom while caring for our loved ones take many of us by surprise. 

Yesterday we discussed the positive emotions associated with Alzheimer's disease. But negative emotions associated with Alzheimer's are are perhaps the most startling. However, they are a natural part of the caregiving process. The key to coping with them is to correctly identify them and then acknowledge them as healthy and natural. Treat yourself with kindness and care and these emotions will eventually give way to more positive feelings. Here's a quick guide on how to do just that.

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Grief

The future you thought you would have with your loved one is gone. The memories you used to share are slipping away. Grief at these realizations is a natural response. It may strike as soon as you get the diagnosis or develop as the disease progresses. Here are some signs of grief to watch out for:

• Denial
• Mood Swings
• Feelings of Despair
• Social Withdrawal
• Resentment

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Depression

Did you know that roughly 50 percent of Alzheimer's caregivers battle depression while they care for their loved ones? Signs of this disease may include:

• Persistent, inexplicable aches and pains
• Irritability
• Under- or overeating
• Loss of interest or pleasure in your usual activities
• Insomnia
• Feeling empty

Anger

No relationship is perfect. Sometimes Alzheimer's comes on the back of unresolved issues. If those issues aren't resolved with the help of a mental health professional, Alzheimer's support group or at least a self help book, those feelings of anger may compound and become overwhelming.

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Frustration

Alzheimer's sufferers may shout, strike or act out in other ways. Even when you know that these episodes are not intended to hurt, they can still be frustrating. 

It may help to know that studies suggest that these episodes may be more than symptoms. They may be the Alzheimer's sufferer's attempt to convey something that they can no longer express through words. 

Take a deep breath and try to see the world through their eyes and take a stab at guessing what feeling they may be trying to express. 

How to Cope

Alzheimer's caregivers often feel guilty about their negative emotions. When a loved one suffers from a debilitating disease, caregivers often feel that their own struggles pale in comparison and do not deserve acknowledgement. 

But for you to give the best care, you yourself must be healthy. A big step towards mental health is to simply acknowledge your feelings. Write your good and bad emotions down in a journal without judgment. Purging them in this way can refresh your batteries and turn your thoughts toward a more positive bent. Or join an online or real life Alzheimer's support group to air your feelings. 

Dr. Sharon Iglehart

Keep in mind that journaling or talking about your emotions may not always help. If your emotions are intense enough to interrupt your sleep or your daily activities it is time to see a mental health professional. An hour a week is a minimal time commitment that can put you back into a balanced, healthy place from which to give the best care to your loved one.