5 Ingredients to a Healthy Relationship

There is no magic formula for a perfect relationship. But all healthy relationship have something in common. I like to call them the ingredients for a healthy relationship. They're like the eggs, butter and flour you need to make a good cake. Your relationship may have a little bit more sugar or spice that makes the relationship your own. But without these key ingredients you may not be making a cake at all.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

It's not just an Aretha Franklin song. All healthy relationships are based on mutual respect: do you and your partner respect each other equally? That doesn't mean that you have to love everything she does or think that every decision he makes is the right one. It does mean that you both admire and trust one another. Without this mutual respect, things tend to crumble when the going gets rough.

Healthy Arguments

Arguments happen in every relationship. Its how you argue that sets good relationships apart from bad ones. A healthy argument is a disagreement where both of you argue your points and eventually hash things out or agree to disagree to end the argument.

An unhealthy argument is a fight. These end in name calling, tears, hurt feelings or even violence. If your arguments turn into personal attacks, your relationship needs some work. A few sessions of individual or couples counseling may help you learn how to dialogue without slipping into anger.

Sexual Compatibility

Sex is an important part of any healthy relationship. There is no rule book or statistic that determines how often a couple should have sex. But it is important that both partners in a couple agree on how often and how they have sex.

Sit down and have a discussion with your partner on how much sex is ideal. Come to a healthy compromise if necessary. Once you've worked out the details, put the effort in to making it happen. A few dedicated date nights can do wonders for your relationship.

Money Honesty

Hidden bank accounts and salary secrets are recipes for relationship trouble. Partners in a healthy relationship trust each other and share financial burdens. Whether you have joint or separate accounts is less important than having an honest discussion about money.

Discuss who will pay what bills, whether living expenses will be joint or up to one person and how to handle late payments. Also talk about your income goals from the future and how to get there. Getting on the same page about finances will help you move together as a couple.

Common Core Values

Couples in healthy relationships agree on the same fundamental core values. That doesn't mean that only couples with the same religious or cultural backgrounds make it in the long haul. It means that you agree on how to raise a happy family, how to manage money and the importance of family.

Will your mother live with you when she gets old? How will you save for your next house? How will you discipline the children? Getting on the same page about these key issues can pave the way for a long, healthy relationship. If you disagree on these core values, it is better to know about these possible deal breakers sooner rather than later.

When you have the ingredients for a healthy relationship, you have a foundation for a strong relationship that's equipped to handle any storm. If you're worried about the health of your relationship, don't be afraid to talk to a professional about your situation. You may receive important insight that will help you in your personal and romantic life. As always, I'm here to answer any questions that you might have. Just drop me a line in the comments section and we'll talk about it.